I thought I was in love, but he was actually the biggest tower moment of my life...

I would have almost done anything for him. I loved him, as much as I knew what love was. Growing up, our family dynamic, it didn't feel like love. I was smart enough then to watch those around me and realize as soon as I could, I would find real love. At 40 I thought I had enough experience by then to pick a good catch. We met, we enjoyed each other, he was more than anyone I was ever with before. Then the little lies crept in. The random ghosting. Always too busy at work. When a woman feels the intuition tugging, the drive to know the reason is unmeasurable. He was already with someone! The situation exploded and again I had only myself. I blamed myself...I know, I'm an idiot. I'm super loving and supportive and I thought something was wrong with ME! Why in my brain, when I have done nothing wrong, think that I was inadequate? I gave myself time to mourn and started to look within. I didn't want a relationship. I looked past all the red flags just to be with someone that "At least is better than the rest". Queue the dark work.